Next Tuesday, I plan to gripe about it. But before I do that, I do want to address what I think these movements are getting right.
Look, I’m just going to be bluntly honest. I think body positivity, fat acceptance, and health are every size are, at their very core message, incredibly dangerous, self-serving, and limiting. I think they are causing FAR more harm for people than they are good. But again… there are some things about these movements that I can appreciate.
Live your life right now, not when you get to your goal weight.
I think this one is HUGE! I have heard people talk about what they’re going to do when they get to goal weight, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but… how about living your life now? I asked Tina out on a date when I was obese, and I cannot imagine my life without her in it. We had Henry when I was obese. We went to Disney World and I rode all of the rides when I was obese. We went to Universal Studios and I rode what rides I could when I was obese. (Just an FYI – Disney World is very fat-rider friendly, Universal not so much, but I still had a great time. And I’m looking forward to going to Universal and riding the rides as a thinner person.)
Whatever it is you want to do, if it can physically be done at your current size, then do it! Yeah, you might face rejection if you ask someone out, but heck, who hasn’t faced rejection? And who is to say you won’t be rejected as a thin person, too?
Now, here is where I differ a bit from the body positivity/fat acceptance crowd. I am doing these things now, but I am also actively seeking a smaller size, too, where I will continue to live my life.
Everyone deserves to be treated with respect.
This one is a huge “duh” moment for me, but it is something that I guess still needs to be said. Everyone, no matter what they look like or how much they weigh, deserves to be treated with respect. Everyone, regardless of how they are fat, how fat they are, why they are fat, or any thing else with the word fat, has a right to be treated respectfully.
It does not matter if someone is losing weight, wants to gain weight, wants to become morbidly obese, or whatever else – if what they are doing does not impact anyone else directly, then it does not matter. (More on this next week, I’ll admit, but the overall message – let people be who they are, and if you don’t like it, then just don’t be around them.)
People should not hate their bodies.
There have been times in my life I’ve hated my body, which is quite stupid for a lot of reasons. First of all, this is the only body I have, good or bad, so I should cherish it and take care of it. (For me, taking care of it means losing weight, but that’s something I’ll talk more about next week.) Secondly, nothing positive comes out of hate. You can’t hate yourself thin. You can’t hate yourself happy. I personally think it’s a bit much for me to celebrate my body being able to breathe and other autonomic processes, but at the same time… I’m really glad my body can breathe.
People should not be required to lose weight.
Heck, if you want to be in a feeder/feedee relationship, more power to you! I personally find that incredibly damaging, but I find what a lot of people do incredibly damaging. Do what makes you happy. If you want to remain fat, then good for you – be fat. Just don’t try to change the world and make those of us who DO want to lose weight accept your malarkey science. (Seriously – there are fat activists who claim that losing weight is damaging to your health. You can’t make that kind of crap up.)
And that’s pretty much all I’ve got. I’m not saying that there are any valid points remaining; these are just the only ones I can think of right now. Next Tuesday, I’ll tell you what I dislike about the body positivity/fat acceptance movements.